I have a wealth of information to share. I'm still working out how I will do it without being random and nonsensical but I wanted to share this process, as scary as it is, from the very beginning. In the very least I'll be able to give props to myself for trying, in the best case I will inspire or help at least one person.
My perspective will be different than some. I know this because I have done a lot of research. I'm going to talk about positive ways to live with grief. Notice the "live with". This is not a do it and get it over with situation. You have to get in it, live with it, learn it, and know how to work with it. It becomes a part of you.
Don't get me wrong, I have messy horror stories to this very day. I have stayed in bed for days at a time. I have laid on the floor in a fetal position begging to die, my husband has had to walk me to the shower, get in with me, and literally wash me, sometimes in a whole day I eat one bite of a protein bar and a sip of water that came from a piece of ice the day before. I could go on but you get the picture. I've also felt shame about doing anything except for the above. How could I dare laugh when my child has died? The list for those is just as long with the most recent being so scared of eating at a restaurant for the fear of someone seeing and judging me.
But I went to the restaurant, and when something was funny I laughed.
I guess my point is there is a stigma attached to grieving and there is most definitely trauma associated with suicide. You have to deal with it and I will share all of the things I do, all of the things I have tried, and all of the things I will do as I move forward on this journey.
Also, at some point I will share my story of loss. The despair I felt the pain I feel, I want to share all of it so please keep reading. Grow and blossom with me. Teach me things and learn from me.
My big goal for today is creating a Facebook page to be associated with this in hopes of having a wider reach, stay tuned!
Much love
I am so happy you are doing this!! I told you it's ok for you to laugh, it's ok for you to cry, it's ok for you to live. I remember at Nicks service I made you laugh & I could tell you felt like you shouldn't & were looking to see if anyone noticed. That made me sad. You should never feel guilty about anything because that's not what Joseph & Nick would want. I love you & we need a pearl girl get together soon!! ��
ReplyDeleteI second that! So very proud of you for sharing this and what your doing is astonishingly selfless and i wish you all the love and happiness & blessings God can bestow upon you! I'm proud to call you sista!!! I love you!
ReplyDeleteLove, Gina
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