In my first post I would just like to introduce myself and talk a little bit about what I hope to accomplish.
I think I have a pretty unique perspective of dealing with horrendous circumstances in life and I need a life's mission, a reason to go on, to push forward. I want to help other parents who have lost their children to suicide. I want to help anyone who has been through this using the coping skills I have learned. I am new to blogging, new to all of this but I know one thing deep down in my soul, I need to help people.
My name is April I am a 44 year old mail carrier, just living a plain old regular life until April 3, 2015 when I was introduced the monster known as suicide. My 21 year old son Joseph took his own life and it shook me to the core. My very existence was unstable. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to turn. I literally asked anyone who spoke to me "What do I do?" No one knew, no one could help me. I was told "Everyone grieves differently" so many times I wanted to scream!
I voraciously attacked information; books, blogs, forums, support groups, therapists, you name it I did it. It was a lot of hit and miss. Stages of grieving, bleh. It should be called the roller coaster of grieving.
Fast forward to January 12, 2017 when I woke up to my alarm for work and saw a text message that said "Nicholas killed himself." At that point I shattered, I could feel myself break into a million pieces. My 16 year old son, my last remaining child was gone.
I fight for my life now. I have stumbled into the position of being very knowledgeable about grieving and about suicide. I want to share my information in hopes of helping and healing.
I welcome, no encourage, any feedback to get started, writing style, how to make sure the right people see this, etc...
Thank you so much for reading this,
April
Hi April, I am Jana, Janel's daughter. I guess you could say we are 3rd cousins. Your mother has been telling me about your story and I want to first give my sympathy. I know there are no words that I can say to make you feel better but I do want you to know I am thinking of you. I also wanted to say that I think your blogging is so noble and I know you will help so many people. Even if you just touch one life, it will prove to be beneficial. My suggestion is only to speak from your heart just as you did in this post and be honest and real. Grief is not pretty - it it is raw and real and sometimes it simply helps if someone can relate to your story and know they are not alone. Take care and keep doing what you are doing. I know I don't know you well but I can tell what a brave woman you are. One day at a time :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Jana. My wish is to show what grief looks like in both negative and positive ways. While entrenched in grief it's hard to understand that you can use that energy, turn it around, and use it to fuel you forward even if it's minute to minute.
DeleteThank you again for your response.
Much love
My dear daughter. I'm so proud of you. You are one of the strongest women I know and I love you for everything you are
Delete