Thursday, March 30, 2017

One Of Those Days

 It was supposed to be a relaxing and productive day off. I was creating a worksheet to go along with a future post, taking a bath, and getting a little bit of cleaning done. I was going through a box of books, that have to be stored in the attic, to find some that I could donate to the library. As i was sifting I came across a photo album.

I thought to myself "don't do it" but I just couldn't help it. I wanted to see all of us, I wanted to see them. I saw pictures of them with their cousins, and their great-grandmother. Carefree and smiling faces in every photo, kids just being kids. My mind drifted to the ever dreading "whys?" and "hows?" How in the world could these two children with loving families, a suburban middle class upbringing, good friends, and everything thing else that goes with a normal life, how could the only solution be to take their own lives?




As always, there was no answer. When I wore myself out thinking, I began browsing the internet for some information, I came across an article that said a popular suicide prevention advocate took her own life.
31 year old Amy Bleuel was the founder of the Project Semicolon,  a  global nonprofit dedicated to those who are struggling with mental illness, suicide, addiction, and self injury.

As stated by Amy from The Mighty in 2015:
 " In literature, an author uses a semicolon to not end a sentence but to continue on. We see it as you are the author and your life is the sentence. You're choosing to keep going."

The questions came right back to me. I've seen people respond to her with great appreciation. I cannot count the times people said she saved their lives. It completely puzzles me how she could not have felt so brave and so proud that she made such a different in peoples lives.

This is just not in my realm of understanding  yet, so I went to back to doing something that I do understand; Writng and sharing in hopes of one day helping someone.

 Please always try to find a good in the bad, and a little glimmer of hope in times of deperation.




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